Category 3: Sports Teams

(Players may choose three teams from any sports league. You are drafting the franchise in its entirety, not a specific year. Keep this in mind when drafting teams like the Cowboys who had a great run in the ‘90s but have not won a playoff game in 12 years)

Eric	Richard	Khurram	Derrick
San Francisco 49ers	Jacksonville Jaguars	Los Angeles Lakers	Chicago Bulls
Boston Celtics	Dream Team	Harlem Globetrotters	Chicago Bears
NY Yankees	Washington Sentinels	Dallas Cowboys	Little Giants

Round 1 Analysis: The only real surprise in the first round was Khurram’s pick of the Lakers as opposed to the Cowboys. The Lakers? Really? Everyone knows my hatred for that team. Khurram is about dead to me at this point. Everyone else just stuck with what is widely regarded as their favorite professional sports team. Not that I was worried about anyone taking the Jags for their own purposes, I just didn’t want them to be used against me for leverage in a trade.

Round 2 Analysis: Derrick grabs Da Bears to go along with Da Bulls. Knowing his love for most things Chicago, this category is turning out to be exactly what he hoped for. Khurram’s pick of the Globetrotters was a good way to obtain value but he must have been wondering if anyone would pull the trigger on taking his Cowboys. I thought about it with my next pick, but I held off for two reasons. One, I didn’t want the draft to turn into nothing more than an exercise of spite. And two, the thought of drafting the Cowboys makes me sick. So, I went with the Dream Team. I know I get stuck with the later Dream Teams as well. But the 92 team more than makes up for it. Eric just didn’t bring any ammunition to this round so stuck with the one of the best teams in NBA history.

Round 3 Analysis: Keeping the same mindset of the previous round, Eric picked the best team in the history of major league baseball. I picked the Washington Sentinels from the movie The Replacements for four simple reasons: 1) Quicksand 2) Nan Desu Ka! 3) Creative use of the song “I will survive” to kill time while in jail and 4) Their Cheerleaders were strippers. Khurram gets his team here, and I would say that it further cements his status as a frontrunner except for the fact that the Cowboys haven’t won a playoff game in 12 years. Finally, Derrick closes it out with The Little Giants, making this his best category so far. I mean just check out the 46 second mark of this clip.

Overall Impressions: My guess is that we were all thrilled to get our respective teams, and then anything after that was a bonus. The Dream Team and Harlem Globetrotters picks were a little out of the box and the Washington Sentinels and Little Giants were way out of the box. Eric played it smart and safe by picking winners (though the Yankees are down this year).

Category 2: Women

Derrick	Khurram	Richard	Eric
Mrs. Smith Mila Kunis	Storm	Natalie Portman	Morgan Webb
Ana Ivanovic	Giselle	Kiera Knightly	Megan Fox
Mara Jade	Padma Lakshmi	Erin Andrews	Giada DeLaurentis

Round 1 Analysis: In keeping with the snake format of the draft, Derrick had the first pick in this round and at first went with Mrs. Smith, not of apple pie fame, but from the movie Mr. and Mrs. Smith. However, he used his only mulligan to go back and take Mila Kunis instead. With all the women in the world available, the fact that a mulligan was used on the very first pick of a category Derrick had no doubt given a lot of thought to, makes one wonder if this was a carry over effect of the Wayne Enterprises pick by Eric the category before.

Khurram continued to show a side that most of us did not know existed by sticking with a fictional character and tapping the Halle Barry played Storm from the X-Men films. It was a surprise pick, but given the fact that she can control the weather, it was solid. He might have been able to wait until a later round to make the pick in order to get better value, but it’s not like anyone was going to take his later picks either.

My pick basically came down to Natalie Portman or Kiera Knightly. I figured that Eric would choose whoever I did not, considering how similar they look at times. What sealed the deal for me was the fact that Portman attended Harvard so theoretically should be quite intelligent and I am a sucker for that kind of thing.

Of course if I got G4 in my house, or if I even knew who Morgan Webb was before the draft occurred, I would have let Natalie Portman, Harvard education and all, fall to Eric with this pick. A girl who plays games and looks like that (see above picture)? Damn. How the hell did she last until the last pick of the round? One drawback, according to a recent interview she has a pet tarantula named Tranny (insert joke here). Still though, best value pick of the round by far.

Round 2 Analysis: Eric got round 2 started by taking Megan Fox of Transformers. I have no qualms with the pick, though I think she may be a candidate for the Lindsay Lohan-Britney Spears train ride to rehab.

And would you look at this, Knightly fell to me in round 2. I was somewhat surprised that Eric didn’t go Kiera Knightly in this round. So I did instead. Now I basically have two women who look almost the same. Not quite what I was expecting, but then again I wasn’t particularly creative during this category. I just went with the top three on my list and got all three.

Khurram came back with the ultimate “butter face” (though that's not necessarily evidenced by the link), Giselle. The pick puzzled some of us and may have been motivated to piss off Tom Brady. Personally I think his third round pick was stronger than this one. However, I could see where, because Giselle is a “big name”, he may have been worried Derrick would have picked her.

Derrick’s pick of Ana Ivanovic demonstrated a bit of a recovery for him. A good looking tennis player who can actually win some matches? What a novel concept. She made my short list.

Round 3 Analysis: Just when I thought Derrick had bounced back from his shaky start he goes and does something like this. Its not the fact that he picked someone I had never heard of (basically everyone did that this round), it’s the fact that he actually passed until the end of round. Craziness. Anyways, on to the actual pick. Wikipedia tells us that Mara Jade functioned as one of the Emperor’s elite assassins and later married Luke Skywalker and achieved the rank of Jedi Master. Badass? Apparently. And ultimately a solid pick.

Khurram went with Top Chef host, and cook book author, Padma Lakshmi. I am not ashamed to say that that I find that show quite entertaining, and that is likely due in no small part, to Ms. Lakshmi. When you think about the fact that she is in all likelihood an excellent chef, Khurram maximized the value of this third round pick.

My pick of ESPN correspondent Erin Andrews went largely unnoticed in the van, but Erin is quite popular in the blogosphere to say the least. Good looking and sports savvy, this pick was one I had in mind from the beginning

Eric closed out the round by drafting pretty but big headed Italian chef Giada DeLaurentis. I have seen her show before and I can certainly understand her appeal. She should fit well with Eric’s later drafted vice.

Overall Impressions: As with most of this stuff, my overall impressions will be based on personal preference. Its hard to say that someone actually picked a “wrong” woman or group of women so I can’t really pick a winner of this round. I like Khurram’s first and third round picks because not only did they yield attractive women, but the women provide multiple tangible skills as well (i.e. controlling the weather). Eric’s 3^rd round pick provided a bonus skill too, though I still maintain that her food better be outstanding to make up for that head that’s too big for her body. Webb might be the highlight of the category, and Fox is the wildcard who could reach stardom for all the right (or wrong) reasons. Definite sleeper pick there.

I’m happy with my picks. I have the classically attractive intelligent girl. A girl who knows and loves sports. And finally a crazy British “bird”, because you always need one of those.

Quick Observations: No surprise that Khurram picked all “ethnic” (to steal Abra’s term) women. Big surprise that I didn’t pick a single Asian woman (though I contemplated a few). Even bigger surprise that Derrick struggled this round.

Category 1: Conglomerates

Eric	Richard	Khurram	Derrick
Wayne Enterprises	Disney	Mom’s Robots	Sony

Analysis: With the first pick in the First Annual Draft of Everything in the World, Eric immediately went outside the box and went with the rather ingenious pick of Wayne Enterprises. In the moment it was a surprising pick to say the least, and rattled some of his counterparts, especially Dark Knight lover, Derrick. Because we had just watched the movie I suppose the pick should not have been as shocking, however it was the person who picked it that made all the difference. I believe Derrick was counting on taking Wayne enterprises with his first pick and he had to scramble for the Sony pick at the end of the round.

Mom’s Robots was also a pick seemingly from out of nowhere. As I only occasionally watch Futurama, there is not a whole lot I can say about the conglomerate as even wikipedia doesn’t have an entry on them. What I can tell you is that they have a factory in Tijuana, Mexico in 2996 so one day the corporation should be selling a bunch of cheaply produced robots. I guess we all have something to fear in 2996 then.

Most people will probably assume that I chose Disney because of ESPN, but that would be a grave mistake. In my heart I knew I had to go with the company that produced such moving films like Lady and The Tramp, Aladdin, The Little Mermaid and who could ever forget the movie I watched a million times growing up as a kid: Dumbo. Plus its impossible to not like a company that featured classic songs like “what makes a red man red?” and has characters like jive-talking black crows (is it bad that when I was a little kid the crows were my favorite characters?). It is safe to say that I would not be the person I am today without….oh, what the hell, who am I kidding, of course the Disney pick was all about ESPN. The access and power ESPN has in the sports world is one of a kind. For a guy who is obsessed with sports, the pick was a no-brainer. Plus they make incredible commercials. Still though, I have much love for Dumbo the Flying Elephant. And his black crow friends.

Overall Impressions: This round was all about the Wayne Enterprises pick. It set the tone of the draft and I believe it rattled Derrick enough that he never truly got back on track for the rest of the draft. The Sony pick was solid, as Sony seems to have their hand in not only electronics but movies and music as well, but left something to be desired. The Disney pick may be viewed along the same lines but was my number one target all along and when you throw in the theme parks, its a pick with little downside. Mom’s Robots has interesting future implications.

Draft Rules

The Draft of Everything in the History of the World


Welcome to the draft of everything in the world. The premise is simple, you, the player, can draft anything in the entire world, to the exclusion of the other players, when it is your turn to select. The draft consists of 58 rounds and will proceed in a “snake fashion”, meaning that when the last player in a round drafts, he will get the first pick in the following round and the draft will proceed in the reverse order of the prior round. Each player will have a maximum of two minutes to make a selection. Should a player fail to make a selection within 2 minutes, the next player in line can make his selection, followed by the next player, and the next player and so on.

There are certain limitations that must be addressed at this time. Things that are inherent to our everyday lives cannot be drafted. Examples of these items include: Water, Oxygen, Gasoline, the internet, and Sunlight. Examples of things that would not fall into this category: Coke, ESPN, and Beer (no matter how much some of us might think beer o or ESPN might be a necessary part of our lives). Additionally, in certain situations something that encompasses many subparts may be drafted, in some of these instances, those subparts may be available for selection as well. For example, Player 1 can draft the NFL, while player 2 can draft the New England Patriots as NFL teams necessarily exist as separate entities.

Finally, just due to simple necessity and organization, certain categories have been established and a requisite number of selections have been set aside for these categories. The categories and said requisite numbers were chosen at complete random, but it is hoped that they are adequate for these purposes. Please read the description next to the category for any limitations of the category. Categories must be entirely filled by the players before moving on to the next category in order. This is done with the hopes of furthering discussion on the long drive to Las Vegas. If a category is filled when a player’s turn arrives, he may choose any unfilled category and the make the first pick of that category. Good Luck.

Player 1 is now on the clock…