Category 21: Career

Derrick	Khurram	Richard	Eric
Owner PH Casino	Hugh Heffner’s Heir Apparent	GM of Los Angeles Clippers	Video Game Reviewer
Owner of Game Development Company	Owner of Dallas Cowboys	Writer	College Professor

Before I get started, let me apologize for the long layoff. Things got busy at work and my mind wasn't right while waiting for the results of my bar exam. To make up for it, I did extensive research for one particular selection of Round 1. It was a tough job, but I owed it to my loyal readers. I think you will find some enjoyable pics in my write up for Khurram's round 1 selection. I warn you though, that these pics are NOT SAFE FOR WORK. Again NSFW!! With that warning, let's begin...

Round 1: Derrick starts us off with the owner of The Planet Hollywood hotel and Casino. Since I am a gambling man, I can understand the pick. However, one wonders if he would be better off choosing the Wynn or Palazzo instead. I know Planet Hollywood is our favorite casino, with a prime location on the strip, but it doesn’t exactly scream class. Then again, I’m not sure any of that really matter so long as the Pleasure Pit exists. Perhaps as owner, Derrick can conduct the auditions. Maybe he can even run the auditions, the same way the Chinese ran the tryouts for the guides at the olympics.

If being an heir apparent is actually a career, than Khurram got the best one of them all. But given that people like DDavid Spadde practically live at the Mansion, there are potential ddownsides. Also, I have seen maybe parts of two episoddes of that Girls Next DDoor show, and I am not certain how long I could stand to be aroundd women that stupidd, no matter how hot they may or may not be.

I chose being general manager for the Los Angeles Clippers. Let’s face it, every sports fan thinks (delusionally, I might add) they could do a better job running a team than the person currently in charge. Well in the case of the perennially losing LA Clippers, that delusion might not be so far off. Between the city, the arena, and some painfully loyal fans, the potential for that franchise to be good does exist. They just seem to make one bone headed move after another. If I could somehow turn that team around, I’d be a legend in the sports world. Plus, there is no downside. If I failed, I’d be no different than anyone else who ever held the post.

Eric closes out round 1 with the choice of video game reviewer. This would be an awesome job if every game that came across your desk was of the quality of a Metal Gear Solid 4 or Gears of War. However, reviewers must also deal with crap like Mary Kate and Ashley: Crush Course and Barbie’s Fashion Show. How would you like to be locked away for 2 days straight playing games like that? Wait a minute…maybe that is EXACTLY why Eric chose this profession, now he can play those games and claim its “part of the job” the next time Derrick questions his sexuality.

Round 1 Analysis: I guess this round goes to Khurram, though I’m not exactly excited about any of these selections or even this category, if you couldn’t already tell.

Round 2: Eric starts Round 2 with the only selection that even closely resembles any one of our real life careers. I can see the perks to being a college professor, you can teach a higher level of material, you don’t have to worry about disciplinary problems as much, and you can have TA’s do all your grading. Also, the females would be mostly legal as opposed to the level Eric currently teaches. Whether that is a plus for him or not, one can only guess…

Though I suppose in actuality, I will be mostly writing for a living, that’s not exactly the writing I had in mind when I made my selection. I’ve mentioned before, I do enjoy writing about certain things. And I’m full of enough crap that I could write for quite some time. And though I’m not the best in the world at it, I think if I actually had to make it a career, I am just deranged enough that I could probably do it better than some, but not necessarily most, of the other writers out there. But let’s be real, the world needs more writers like the world needs more lawyers, so the last thing I want to do is….oh, wait…bad example.

Khurram would like to be owner of the Dallas Cowboys, but considering how I am his friend and all, I’m not quite sure that I’d like that. The home state of good ol’ George Dubbya doesn’t seem like a safe place for brown people like Khurram. But let’s ignore that for a second, and also ignore the fact that Khurram doesn’t have the requisite 4 face lifts needed to be the owner, and let’s examine the facts. This job really has no downside, besides the fact that the Dallas Cowboys are prominently involved. I mean, c’mon, this is a team that hasn’t won a playoff game in 13 years, if Khurram took over its not like he’d have anywhere to go but up.

Finally, Derrick closes out the round and this dreadful category by choosing to be owner of a game development company. I actually like this pick. With the amount of crap that gets produced by game companies every year, having someone who ACTUALLY plays games green light some projects, while quashing others, seems like a good idea.

Round 2 Analysis: I’ve gotta go with Game Developer, Derrick here. The writer pick was somewhat of a waste. I could make writing my career right now, I just wouldn’t be able to eat or live under a roof, but that’s okay I suppose. I like the college professor pick, as teaching is always something that intrigued me. As for Khurram’s pick, I’ve always wondered how one answers the question, HOW ‘BOUT THEM COWBOYS? Is it: a) How ‘bout em! [proceed to throw back mug of beer] b) The Cowboys kick ass! [proceed to throw back mug of beer] c) Well, they can’t ever win in the playoffs and their owner looks like Skeletor [proceed to get tied to a pickup and get dragged around town] d) Don’t mess with Texas [proceed to become president of the United States]. I think I have to go with the hidden choice of e) get drunk; mostly because that’s what I would do if I had to hear that damn question all the time.

Overall Impressions: I don’t think this category will be making a reappearance at this coming draft.